Wilson Lawrence is a Performance, Personal Development and English Communications Coach and today we are talking about the 5 Ways To Approach Adversity. Regardless of who you are or the type of business you run we are all going to be faced with adversity multiple times in our careers, but what is important is how we approach it.
When something catastrophic happens, we tend to overwrite this with a feeling or emotion, and this is going to affect how we physically feel and how we approach our work.
For example, when X happens, I’m feeling this?
Name The Feeling
It’s important to be able to name the feeling and then reflect backwards. Well, I’ve been in situations like this before and felt the same way, and I’ve come through them. Knowing and being aware of this gives you confidence.
“Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records”. – William Arthur Ward
1. HAVE CONFIDENCE
You need to have confidence and belief that you can figure things out using, past feelings and emotions. It’s when you go into panic and reaction mode that stops us thinking.
When you live IN THE MOMENT, it is harder to think clearly. You need to go into your archives and ask how you handled this situation last time.
Mixed Martial Arts fighters train for adversity in the cage. In training, they are continually putting themselves into dangerous situations, so when it happens for real in the cage, they can quickly reflect back, relax and find a solution.
The One Thing
Our reactions are connected to FEAR and our inbuilt Fight, Flight and Freeze responses.
When something happens, PAUSE and ask yourself these three questions:
1. Which version of me is here right now, the old version wanting to run away or freeze, or the new version prepared to take action?
2. Who do I want to be in this situation? (Answer is New Version)
3. How would the new version of me think, feel and act in this situation?
When you’ve answered these three questions, you then need to ask the FOCUSING QUESTION, “what's the ONE Thing you can do right now, such that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary?
Then you take the appropriate action.
2. KEEP PERSPECTIVE
People often think that adversity has only ever happened to them and no one understands what they are going through, but this is not true. You need to talk to other people because there are no benefits to suffer in silence.
Adversity and struggles are opportunities to learn for the future. They occur to prepare us for what lies ahead.
3. SCHEDULE ACTION
Rather than make hasty decisions, PAUSE, and ask the focusing question, “What’s the one thing…”
Usually, we tend to overwrite situations with false stories, in our heads, and we get fearful, and instead of taking action we run or freeze.
• Visualise the successful completion of each action/task
• Break tasks into smaller manageable actions
• Schedule 1 – 3 points of action, and count your small wins.
• Start with a day of intention
4. ASK FOR HELP
You need to suspend your ego and ask for help, but we tend not to because we feel embarrassed, feel like a failure, think it shows weakness, and we fear rejection.
It’s a false reality that stops people asking for help. What if I ask for help and they say no? Has this ever happened? Has anyone ever told you no, they would not help you? Unlikely.
Maybe you need a mentor, but is your ego in the way?
5. HONOUR THE STRUGGLE
Honouring the struggle and challenge along the way is essential. When adversity strikes, it can hit you like a train, accept it and take action, even if it makes you want to stay in bed and watch TV.
Instead of honouring the struggle people do things to take their mind off the adversity, such as drinking, smoking and over-eating. Some people will live in denial because creating an alternative reality means they can exist without pain.
Grumpy Client
When faced with a grumpy client there is a process to follow:
1. Suspend your ego
2. Don’t be judgemental. It’s an opportunity to gain their trust.
3. Honour the reason they're angry
4. Valid their actions
5. Be generous
Monday Morning Tip
Get your most important and challenging task done first and the rest of the day is much easier because the longer you put a job off, procrastination, the less chance you’ll have of getting it done.
If you have any questions about this podcast episode please send me an email at
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